Everyone keeps asking me how I’ve been doing, pregnancy-wise, and I must say I feel that for the most part, I seem to have had a pretty easy pregnancy. I didn’t have virtually any morning sickness, I have been able to keep up the vast majority of my duties at work (with the exception of lifting things that are, you know, 50+ pounds), and we even seem to have a more active social life in the past couple of months than we have had previously. There are, however, some minor things that, when you add them all together, have been driving me absolutely crazy. One is the dog. Clover loves jumping on top of me like I’m a goddamned trampoline, and I must say I do not appreciate it, and I’m pretty sure baby Blueberry doesn’t either! Thankfully she’s only, like, 10 pounds, or this would be a serious problem rather than just kind of annoying. Another thing is this whole eating round the clock thing. No longer can I just stuff my face a few times a day and be happy as a clam in between. No, now I have to strategically pack enough snacks to get me through the day, and hope that I’m hungry for actual meals at the same time Jeremy is. Which, by the way, is annoying him quite a bit too. Our conversations regarding food lately have gone something like this. Me: I’m hungry. Jeremy: What, right now? But I just got home. Me: I can’t help it. I’m hungry right now. Jeremy: Well, go eat a snack. Me: -goes and eats a couple little things- -an hour later- Jeremy: Want me to cook dinner? Me: No, I’m not hungry any more. I already ate. Jeremy: But now I’M hungry! Me: Then go eat something. Jeremy: -harumphs off to the kitchen, gets frustrated, and usually doesn’t end up eating anything until I end up being hungry again- Not to mention this whole needing to pee CONSTANTLY. I’m totally fine if I’m sitting down, or laying back on the couch. But god forbid I get up to get a glass of water, or roll over to find a comfier position, because then LORD HELP ME if I can’t get to the bathroom in the next 30 seconds. Now, many people, when they meet me, assume that I am naturally graceful and, I dunno, light on my feet, or something. But let me tell you, I am nothing like a cat. Except that I might claw your eyes out if you touch my feet the wrong way… but that’s another story. When I’m not pregnant, I am clumsy. I trip on flat surfaces, run into walls and doorframes on a regular basis, and generally wake up with all kinds of bruises and scrapes and can’t seem to remember where and how I got them. This is just something I’ve come to accept as part of being me. But this natural talent for finding walls with my shoulder and coffee tables with my shins has actually become WORSE since pregnancy. Yes, I know my equilibrium has been thrown off due to added weight in all the wrong places, and “I just need to be more careful” and blah blah freaking blah. The other day when making cupcakes, I managed to drop an entire jar of cocoa powder, which promptly shattered all over my kitchen floor, and which my dog seemed to think would be super fun to try to eat – glass shards included. My broom is really not made to sweep up anything so fine as cocoa powder, and trying to fend off the dog while wiping up cocoa powder with wet paper towels was… not easy. Then, the other day I managed to trip down the last couple stairs on my way out the door in the morning. Luckily it was only the last step or two, and aside from scraping my knee up a little, I’m totally fine. But yea, clumsiness is definitely getting worse. Well-meaning people. Yes, I get it, you raised two kids yourself 30 years ago, or 5 years ago, or whenever, but guess what? I have a trusted professional that I go to for my prenatal advice. You know who that is? My doctor. So unless your name is followed by Ph.D., I really don’t want to hear about how I need to stop stressing, relax, think about my blood pressure, watch my sodium intake, or any of another million things you think I should be doing. Oh, and don’t EVEN lecture me on my choice to go drug-free in labor. My blood pressure is fine – I’ve never had a history of high blood pressure, and every check up I’ve had, I’ve continued to be fine. Some stress is totally normal, and completely unavoidable, particularly in a job like mine where I can almost guarantee I’ll be dealing with at least one unhappy, yelling customer a day (and many times more), let alone coworkers who can’t seem to do their own jobs, and yet have some serious thoughts on how I should be doing mine. Just because you chose to have an elective C-section doesn’t mean I want one. I have serious anxiety and panic attacks related to needles, and even the thought of having any form of surgery is enough to bring me to tears… that is not something I want to have to face while going into labor. The most ridiculous thing I have heard yet? “You shouldn’t be eating that. Soup is bad for you.” Uh, don’t you mean top ramen? “No. You shouldn’t be eating any soup. It has too much sodium.” Wait, what? “Yea, soup is bad for you.” Uh… huh… Right… Let’s pretend we never talk again… ever… That’d be great… Milk. (This may not be strictly PG, so feel free to skip this little section). While we were getting ready for bed one night, I happened to notice that one of my nipples had a little drop of something on it. I gasped and looked up at Jeremy. He looked at me, confused, “What?” Me: What’s that? -points to nipple- Jeremy: Haha milk. Me: EWW! Jeremy: -leans closer- Cool!! Me: NO! EWW! Gimme a tissue! Jeremy: -grabs a tissue, but doesn’t hand it over- You want me to wipe it off for you? Me: NO! GIMME THAT!! -snatches it- Yea… leaking for the first time kind of freaked me out a little bit. Haven’t leaked since then, but it kind of just threw me off guard for a few minutes until I could wrap my brain around it. I guess I just didn’t expect to start leaking so soon… Anyway… that pretty much sums up my pregnancy experiences lately. Anyone else have any weird/annoying things to share?